When I've done Morning Pages in my past it was always because I was in a sad place and hoped that writing them would yank me out of it. A lot of the time it worked. But I definitely turned the routine into something my own, something that worked for me. I often wrote them at night. And I didn't do a lot of the things she prescribed to go along with them. As you were talking about this, it reminded me of something that a meditation teacher I often listen to, Davidji, said in one of the meditations I was listening to--that so many meditation teachers say you should sit in a certain way, hold your hands in a certain way, etc. But really what matters is that you are comfortable, and that you find your way into meditation in a way that helps you best. I had always done that anyway, but it was nice to have validation that things don't always have to be my way or the highway. Take what works for you and work into something better. And big {{{{hugs}}}}. As I've gotten older I find that panic attacks like me more than I like them. They really suck. I'm so sorry you are dealing with them. But hang in there...there is always a way through these things!
That's a great note about meditation. I left a practice because it was militant about keeping your eyes open and now I happily meditate with my eyes closed, dammit.
As I was growing up, my financially-minded father used to repeat a story about how he got called to the IRS when in grad school (also working). He feared they'd interfere with his life and cost him more money. But when he sat in front of the officer who reviewed his tax return, the officer said, "Aren't you in school?" My dad said yes. "Well, then, your books and materials are tax deductible." The conversation continued that way touching on other relevant deductions my dad had missed. He walked out with a refund instead of a fine.
His lesson to me: look at the form and say "how does this apply to me?"
I've applied this lesson far and wide, including morning pages.
I write daily much of the time, and then not at all when my head dives directly into my work. Her three-page length comes from her claim that the epiphany happens about 1 1/2 pages in. Sometimes I'm faster, writing only 2 pages, 1 page, a paragraph. Other times I'll write dozens of pages. Sometimes I catalog vacation memories there too.
My morning page routine has evolved to closer to my yoga instructor's advice each time I come to the mat: what do you need today? Which to me echoes how does this apply to me?
I'm so sorry you and Crystal and dealing with panic attacks. I've only had a couple in my life but know the toll they take.
Morning pages have always morphed on me, too, I think because they start out as the brain dump they're supposed to be, and at a certain point turn into rumination that just keeps turning in on itself. Instead of getting rid of the thoughts that are taking me away from creative projects (or allowing solutions to problems to bubble up) they become a kind of mire in themselves. I'm a super newbie to meditation, but that has felt like a more productive regular practice to me, although I still do the pages sporadically. I think you're onto something with thinking about it as just another tool in the writer's toolbox -- you don't need to use the same tool every day or for every job, but it helps to know what's in there when you need it.
Thanks. Rumination is a whirlpool my mind swirls in all by itself. I can see morning pages being an occasional practice, but just as I hate being told to keep my eyes open in meditation, I think I prefer freewriting pages to morning pages.
When I've done Morning Pages in my past it was always because I was in a sad place and hoped that writing them would yank me out of it. A lot of the time it worked. But I definitely turned the routine into something my own, something that worked for me. I often wrote them at night. And I didn't do a lot of the things she prescribed to go along with them. As you were talking about this, it reminded me of something that a meditation teacher I often listen to, Davidji, said in one of the meditations I was listening to--that so many meditation teachers say you should sit in a certain way, hold your hands in a certain way, etc. But really what matters is that you are comfortable, and that you find your way into meditation in a way that helps you best. I had always done that anyway, but it was nice to have validation that things don't always have to be my way or the highway. Take what works for you and work into something better. And big {{{{hugs}}}}. As I've gotten older I find that panic attacks like me more than I like them. They really suck. I'm so sorry you are dealing with them. But hang in there...there is always a way through these things!
I'm so sorry you're dealing with panic attacks.
That's a great note about meditation. I left a practice because it was militant about keeping your eyes open and now I happily meditate with my eyes closed, dammit.
As I was growing up, my financially-minded father used to repeat a story about how he got called to the IRS when in grad school (also working). He feared they'd interfere with his life and cost him more money. But when he sat in front of the officer who reviewed his tax return, the officer said, "Aren't you in school?" My dad said yes. "Well, then, your books and materials are tax deductible." The conversation continued that way touching on other relevant deductions my dad had missed. He walked out with a refund instead of a fine.
His lesson to me: look at the form and say "how does this apply to me?"
I've applied this lesson far and wide, including morning pages.
I write daily much of the time, and then not at all when my head dives directly into my work. Her three-page length comes from her claim that the epiphany happens about 1 1/2 pages in. Sometimes I'm faster, writing only 2 pages, 1 page, a paragraph. Other times I'll write dozens of pages. Sometimes I catalog vacation memories there too.
My morning page routine has evolved to closer to my yoga instructor's advice each time I come to the mat: what do you need today? Which to me echoes how does this apply to me?
I'm so sorry you and Crystal and dealing with panic attacks. I've only had a couple in my life but know the toll they take.
I hope somehow I've helped here.
Morning pages have always morphed on me, too, I think because they start out as the brain dump they're supposed to be, and at a certain point turn into rumination that just keeps turning in on itself. Instead of getting rid of the thoughts that are taking me away from creative projects (or allowing solutions to problems to bubble up) they become a kind of mire in themselves. I'm a super newbie to meditation, but that has felt like a more productive regular practice to me, although I still do the pages sporadically. I think you're onto something with thinking about it as just another tool in the writer's toolbox -- you don't need to use the same tool every day or for every job, but it helps to know what's in there when you need it.
Thanks. Rumination is a whirlpool my mind swirls in all by itself. I can see morning pages being an occasional practice, but just as I hate being told to keep my eyes open in meditation, I think I prefer freewriting pages to morning pages.